Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Heigh-Ho Begins! Sonnet 116...with a twist

To kick off this rather unconventional blog-party, I hope you will excuse some liberties taken with Shakespeare's famous Sonnet 116. (You know..."Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds...") I thought it might be rather a humorous business to write a parody on it. I am not saying that it comes anything close to Shakespeare, I am not even saying that I think it very good. All I am saying is that I tried, and that's all anyone is entitled to do. :) One may imagine this to have been written by a pessimistic old woman--it certainly doesn't reflect my views on love. :D


Sonnet 116--Reprise:

Let them not to the marriage of old maids
Rain down sentiments. Love's still quite love
Which alters with the feeble minds--
It bends with the reprover to reprove:
Oh yes, it is an ever-fixed rule
That looks on singles and is ever shaken.
That views old teachers in the school
And winks at liberties half-taken. 
Love is Time's fool, when withered lips and cheeks
Within his virgin circle's compass come:
Love alters much o'er hours and weeks
And fadeth out to the edge of doom.
If this be the truth, and my mind is prov'd,
I am a wit that no man ever lov'd.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

And so it begins!!! :)

Please take this button and put it on your sidebar! :)

Tomorrow starts the kick-off of the "'Heigh-ho' For a Husband" Blog Party & Contest here at The Inkpen Authoress! I have much much much planned for this event, and I can't wait to share it all with you! All I will say is that there is a stinkin' fabulous giveaway sponsored by the beautiful Michelle Mach Etsy shop, and you will absolutely adore it. There will be post about Valentine's Day-themed things, writing romance [or not], excerpts from books, interviews, and more, during the next three weeks! I have a post scheduled for nearly every day, and I hope you'll enjoy this party as much as I plan to! :)

So this is a reminder that tomorrow (or more properly, at 12:00 a.m.) you may begin sending your entries to theinkpenauthoress@gmail.com. Contest Details are below :)

This contest will be a contest of Fiction. You may write a dialog, a poem, or a short story (no more than 4,000 words, please). The theme is Un-Valentined Humor. :) Witty, funny, humorous entries about this plight. You may write about two girls discussing their single state, a romantic comedy where no one ends up married, a parody on a famous romantic poem, etc. The idea is to showcase the themes of Valentine's day from an "un-coupled" person's prospective! :) Have fun with it! (And no, you don't have to be single to enter.)
This"Heigh-Ho for a Husband" Blog Party and Contest will open Wednesday, January 23, 2012, and end on February 14th, 2011.
The rules are as follows:
  • Each entrant may submit one entry for each category: Poetry, Dialog, or Story. Email all submissions to theinkpenauthoress@gmail.com
  • The entries will be judged in their category.  I'll choose one winner from each category, and their entries will be featured on this blog. 
  • Then the winners from those three entries will compete for the Grand Prize Winner. I will be announcing the prize at a later date. :)
 Tally-ho, everyone! I can't wait to see what you come up with! Please spread the word about this "'Heigh-Ho for a Husband" blog party so that we can get as many people participating as possible! :)
                                        With Great Expectations,
                                                            Rachel

Monday, January 23, 2012

"The Best Things Happen When You're Dancing": An honest scribble

One of my friends recently looked at me and sighed with envy. "You always have the most exciting things happen to you, Rachel."
I had never thought so, being of the opinion that all such exciting things happened only in books, but in recent years I've had a series of rather novel experiences. (Pun intended.) Here's a truthful account of my most recent experience while contra-dancing. It happened two days ago, and I rather hope you'll enjoy it. :)


"The Best Things Happen When You're Dancing..."
By Rachel Heffington

The evening had begun with instruction, and although Rachel had never tried contra-dancing in her life, the music dictated to her feet and taught her how to move. She had seldom felt such a sense of giddy freedom as this dancing gave her. She took hand across with her neighbor and smiled as he swung her in a swift, mad whirl. The small band on the platform up the hall played louder and faster, the fiddle, mandolin, and keyboard heightening the sensation with their wild cavorting. On the dancers swirled, weaving in and out, allemande, swing, gypsy-turns, on and on and on till with a last burst of melody, the band stopped playing and the dance was over. Rachel’s partner released her and she smiled.
“Thank you for the dance,” she said.
He smiled and made an awkward bow. “Thank you. It was fun.”
Rachel made her way across the bright wooden floor, through the knots of hot, flushed dancers. Water. That’s what she needed. She tried to brush away the weariness that crept through her senses, deafening her ears to the laughter and chatter of the crowd and dulling her eyes against the brilliancy of the overhead lights.
Rachel reached behind the great heavy drapes and felt the cool of the window-panes against her sweaty arm. If only the rest of the room felt this amazing. Her hand met with the metal of her water-bottle and she quickly unscrewed the lid, pouring some of the water into her parched mouth. She sighed and wandered to a chair, then sat down. Contra was fun, indeed, but rather exhausting to a girl who had set her alarm for 5:30 that morning, traveled two hours to a friend’s house, then nearly two more hours to the dance, and never ate lunch or dinner.
The caller at the microphone announced the next dance. “Gentlemen, time to get your-selves new partners!”
Rachel gathered herself and stood, determined not to lose a moment of this supreme happiness if she had an ounce of strength left. A man approached her, and she smiled as he looked at her.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked with a faint German accent, extending his hand.
Rachel put her hand in his and smiled. “I would, thank you.”
The man escorted her to the line of dancers and the music began. The complicated steps began, but Rachel soon grew accustomed to them. She gypsy-turned, laughing at the expression on the face of her neighbor. He smiled, Rachel returned to her partner, and on they danced. To your neighbor, to your partner, hands-across, gypsy-turn. The caller’s voice melted into the music, and the room whirled.
Weariness had now grown to exhaustion and rose, with each measure they tread, into a monster that threatened to steal her consciousness. Alarmed, Rachel bit her lip, trying to focus and recall the steps she had learned but a moment before. It was no use. She frantically looked up and down the line, trying to keep time with the other dancers. Her partner passed his arm around her waist and propelled her through a swing.
To the middle and back across—no, wait. Gypsy-turn—no, swing. There it was again! Rachel was relieved to feel a support across her back again, and she tried to smile and act natural. She felt herself slipping into a sleep-like state.
This was such fun! She could spin all night, if only she didn’t have to remember any of the steps. The room grew larger and smaller all at once, and she no longer felt her feet moving. Those dancers were not real—she was dreaming, or else watching them on a t.v. screen—she couldn’t decide. But her partner’s arms steadily pushing her here and there told her the astonishing truth. She was dancing, and something was rather wrong. Was this how it felt to faint? She felt strangely disconnected from the whole ordeal as if she floated above it and observed herself dancing below.
“Oh Lord, don’t let me faint!” Rachel prayed through clenched teeth. She clung to her partner, unspeakably grateful that his arm was there to support her, but again he pushed her out into the crowd and she tried to grasp the steps of the dance and fend for herself against the frightening, muddled tide.
Into the middle, back, swing your partner! His arm was there again, and Rachel summoned all her mind, soul, and body to concentrate and try to understand the dance. Just finish. Finish the dance—that was all she asked. She knit her brows and focused on her partner, trying to comprehend what he was saying, begging for a few words of instruction to help her through. All she heard a few muttered curses as she made a blunder and they crashed into another couple.
“I’m sorry!” she said feebly, too exhausted to care.
When was the music stopping? This dance had gone on far too long. The room was a whirl and she wondered if she would last until it ended. Her nerves buzzed, but the music continued. She had to finish, or they’d flaw the entire line of dancers. She tightened her grip on her partner’s shoulder. It was damp and hot under her arms. She searched his face for his eyes, for something to connect her to reality, but he was looking away, jaw tight and concentrated.
At last, when she thought she could not last another step, the music ended. She curtsied, clapped, said something to her partner, and floated to the tables and chairs, having no idea what she had just said. She hoped it was the proper thing. Rachel sank into a chair, thanking the Lord that she had made it in safety. She closed her eyes and tried to summon her wits.
For the next dance she sat in a daze on the side-line, sipping water and trying to call herself back to the present world, the present moment. Slowly, so painstakingly slowly, life began to return. She smiled at the dancers and made stupid replies to the questions of an elderly matron sitting nearby. She clapped at the next dance finished, sufficiently revived to wish he had the strength to continue—it was such fun.
Her eyes flickered to the sidelines but her color rose as a short, muscular, wiry man swaggered towards her, eyes intent. She had been hoping all the night through that he would not ask her to dance—she blessed her faintness—it would make the perfect excuse for refusing him.
The man stood before her a moment later and threw his arm out with a triumphant smile. “May I have this dance, my darling?”
My darling? Stunned, and still dazed, Rachel fought to piece together a coherent answer. “I’m sorry—I can’t. I got up early and I haven’t eaten and—” Such a feeble attempt at a refusal, but it was the best her befogged wits could concoct.
He smiled, and she thought she had never seen a man who looked so like a rattlesnake. “I haven’t eaten either—I’m rather hungry actually—my stomach’s growling.” He walked closer and crouched down, then sat back on his heels, affecting to watch the dancers as she did. Rachel kept her eyes on the dancers, willing this man leave her—she hadn’t enough brain to successfully fend off a determined man.
A moment later he turned back to her. “Where’s a good place to eat around here?”
Rachel shook her head. “I’m not sure—I don’t live around here.”
“Oh? Where do you live?”
“In Virginia,” Rachel replied slowly, hoping it was a vague enough answer. The man nodded, seeming pleased that he had got her to speak.
“And what do you think of it?” He motioned to the dance-floor.
Rachel smiled, tolerating this sort of question. “I like it—I’ve never done contra before—only Civil War and square-dancing.”
He raised his eyebrows and shifted so he looked at her squarely. “Oh?” He remarked further on his lack of experience in that arena, then returned to watching the dancers.
Rachel sat back in her chair, and decided to ignore him, whatever the cost.
He turned to her again. “I’m so hungry, I really can’t wait.”
Good Heavens—he wasn’t about to ask her out to dinner, was he? Rachel stiffened, hoping she could summon a regal, cold, demeanor to discourage any thought of such a thing. She raised her proud chin proudly and looked with steadfast interest on the whirling dancers beyond the crouching man.
He stood, repulsed at last by her incivility, then wandered behind her to lurk among the tables or saunter off to fetch his dinner. He whistled a wandering, haunting little tune as he retreated, and Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.
Then all at once she smiled, and tried to stifle a laugh—notwithstanding her present exhaustion, nearly fainting had been quite a novel experience.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

New Header! :)

Greetings, Chaps! (Or Chapesses--however you'd prefer!) How do you like the new header for my blog? :) I made it myself, and as I am technologically challenged, it was rather a victory. Dash it all! I wish my computer didn't block ridiculous things like backgrounds on blogs, because now I can't remember what it was my background did look like, and whether the header clashes horridly or not. Do alert me if you see anything that gives you a headache of phenomenal dimension--I will figure out a way to remedy it. :D

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

"Sink Me! He's been taking lessons--the cravat's a picture."

It has often been expounded upon that when one writes Fantasy, one must have a proper setting for it, complete with history, culture, customs, clothing, etc. Herein I've attempted to show you a bit of Scarlettania's Fashion, with a touch of Gildnoir as the case may be.


How Cecily longed for the touch of silk, brilliant as a butterfly’s wing, or brocade, or ermine. But most of all she longed to feel the feather-light brush of gossamine—the fabric of princesses—spun from dewy spiders’ webs.  How many, many times had she slipped her gossamine gown over her head, feeling its airy beauty and yet never stopping to think how precious a thing it was?
 Gossamine is a fabric I concocted in my imagination. It was intentionally a spin-off of the word "gossamer" and yes, it was intentional to make it a rather fairy-tale-sounding material. After all, we can't expect Mr. Macefield to be too too original, can we? ;) Gossamine would feel very very light, but it would have a pattern over it. Something like a mixture of organza, satin, and damask. :)

I have not yet shown Cecily Woodruff (or Lady Cecelia, if you will) in her own country, but I think that on her eighteenth birthday she will wear a gown much like this:


In stark contrast:

“Treason, is it?” Diccon’s breath caught in his throat as sudden rage surged through him. “Is it not what you are making war to commit yourself? To take a foreign woman as your wife just because she is beautiful and catches your eye?”
Fitz-Hughes’ smile dropped off his face like an autumn leaf before a blast of cold wind.  He smoothed the dark mail of his armored sleeve, stroking discordant jingles from it. “I believe that question is the fifth demerit you’ve earned today, boy. Watch your tongue a bit more carefully—you are trying my patience.”
Randolph Fitz-Hughes' Gildnoir-ian fashion is dark and brooding with here and there an unexpected splash of gaudy gold or yellow. It follows the pattern of his Clan-cum-Kingdom--wild, untamed, sophisticated, opulent. It's a queer hash, you know.



Not all of the clothing of Scarlettania is rich and brilliant though. There are some in the kingdom who do not wear gossamine, contrary to popular belief.

She thought she had better make amends quickly—it would never to do have the inhabitants of a strange castle vexed with you when you had no more of an idea of how to get out of the castle—if it came to that—than a beetle has of getting out of a match-box maze.
“I like your dress,” Adelaide said, feeling shy all at once and vexed because of it.
Dear-Heart gave a short laugh and brushed an even shorter finger across the fabric. “This, miss? Why, it’s nothin’ but flax an’ that bein’ such as has seen better days.”

Dear-Heart, Agnes, and the other women of the working class wear picturesque gowns of simple fabrics: cotton, linen, (or as Dear-Heart says it, "flax") and other materials. The gowns follow the classic "peasant" style of full, light, short sleeves, and a higher waist-line. Warm earth-tones are favored, as well as dusty-rose, deep red, navy, and other deep colors. :)


As for the court-gentlemen of Scarlettania, as well as for Bertram and Darby when the arrive, there is a definite late colonial- early Regency feel to the clothing. Waist-coats are very much "in," as are knee-breeches--at least for the younger boys. Scarlettania is not a fighting country, therefore only the very few knights wear armor. The city men wear fine, embroidered waistcoats, soft, well-tailored jackets, and breeches. The grown men wear cravats, of course, and knee-boots.





Darby glanced down at his embroidered vest, and soft jacket. He had been much delighted over the great golden dragon slithering across his chest in elaborate stitchery—it continued all across the back and around the other side. It wasn’t the sort of dragon he’d seen in Chinese paintings—it reminded him of a snake and a nightmare combined into something infinitely thrilling. And in its head were two emeralds for eyes; these made do for buttons.
His pants he was less pleased with—they were tight and buckled under his knees with bright brass fastenings—he had decided when he put them on that they looked just like the ones George Washington was in the habit of wearing—no wonder he went around chopping down cherry-trees; the pants were enough to make any fellow cross.


So that's that! How about you? What are the styles in your country? :) ~Rachel

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Writing Children: The To-Do's, and Not To-Do's. :)

“I don’t want to write for adults. I want to write for readers who can perform miracles. Only children perform miracles when they read.”
—Astrid Lindgren

I do not feel equipped to speak with authority on many angles of writing--I am not a published author, I make a hash of comma usage, I tend to use unpopular POV's (such as narrative), and my plot lines are not exactly Dickensian in intricacy. However of all the criticisms I got in the critique group that I was a part of (and that shaped me immensely) there was one consistent compliment. 
Apparently, I can write children well. Nearly all the members of the group commented on how realistic the children were in their personalities, their relationships, etc. I'm not saying that to boast, only to let you know why I'm hashing this topic out. 
I suppose the thing is, I am immersed in Children-Culture. With seven younger siblings (and eight cousins across the field) I have a 15-person study-group below my nose at all times. Okay. Let's face it. In my lap at all times. It was not three days ago that my five-month old Levi punched a random series of keys while I was writing and botched up the formatting of my entire manuscript. :D (thankfully I was able to fix it)
Being that I am so constantly involved in child-culture, it's a good thing some of that has translated into my writing. I'd be worried otherwise, for isn't it a maxim of all writing that your life flavors the way you write? If it isn't, it ought to be. That being said, I thought I'd give you a few tips on how to write fully-rounded, fully-fleshed children characters:

Point One: Children are not that simple:

 “You have to write whichever book it is that wants to be written. And then, if it’s going to be too difficult for grownups, you write it for children.”
—Madeleine L’Engle
Children have far more to them than meets the eye. They are people, after all, with hopes, dreams, aspirations...and they have more soul than we often realize. My little sister Gracie sat, dejected, at our dining room table this afternoon, having discovered a chicken that had succumbed to a cruelly enforced pecking-order, and died.
"He suffered, Rachie!" she cried, and the tears welled up in her eyes. "Can we pray for him?" (In fact, on a side-note, she keeps a running list of deceased pets that she prays for routinely. :P)
You cannot write a child-character as a named clown that walks around providing comic relief with his lisp and hope to captivate your audience. Especially if you write for children. They know their own kind, and they are quick to detect flaws in your characterization of one of them. So how do you write a child? Provide plenty of soul and depth. Children have a thought-process, deep emotions, and everything that makes an adult-character tick, only it is precious and unspoilt. Watch children and see how they interact with one another. I promise, you'll learn much from them.

“Grown-up people find it difficult to believe really wonderful things, unless they have what they call proof. But children will believe almost anything, and grown-ups know this. That is why they tell you that the earth is round like an orange, when you can see perfectly well that it is flat and lumpy; and why they say that the earth goes round the sun, when you can see for yourself any day that the sun gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night like a good sun as it is, and the earth knows its place, and lies as still as a mouse. Yet I daresay you believe all that about the earth and the sun, and if so you will find it quite easy to believe that before Anthea and Cyril and the others had been a week in the country they had found a fairy.”  ~Edith Nesbit

Point Two: Get out of the cliche-box:
Not every child has a lisp. Not every child drops "r"s. Not that you can't use those characteristics, but your child must have more to him than a clumsy tongue. Children are so much fun, that it is a pity to limit them to a speech impediment. Think outside the box. Does she like to dress up? Is she flamboyant? Would she march up to a stranger and demand a kiss, or is she quiet and reserved, having to be coaxed to speak?
Perhaps the most fun is writing The Little Boy. Frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails! ;) I have a weakness for naughty little boys....Dill, Darby, Tucker...oh yes. What is it that makes them so adorable? It could be something as small as freckles, a pug-nose, dirt around his fingernails. Just watch a little boy for five minutes and you'll have a host of actions to use in describing that character of yours. :)

Point Three: Pay Attention:
The Mistress of this third point, in my humble opinion, was Edith Nesbit. Even the narration of her books reflects the elaborate, illogical, perfect charm of a child's thinking. This is a task that takes some doing, for the older we grow, the easier it is to forget how sensible a childish thought once seemed to us, and how we came across that thought in the first place. You must cast aside all adult-ish thinking when you write for children. You must approach them on their own footing, thinking how they think, dealing with crisis the way they do. Sometimes it requires a kyniption fit. Sometimes it requires a fist-fight. But bet upon it. Something unexpected and not quite well-behaved is always the right way for a child. :) After all, social-grace and politics are not a large part of the average child's diet. Scapegraces are darlings, in my opinion. :) 

Point Four: Have Fun:
This is the last, and perhaps most important point. Children are fun. They have not yet learned that life expects more of you than smiles and giggles, delicious frights, more smiles, and a little dirt thrown in. Let your pen play for awhile instead of work. You characters can, on occasion, even serve as your alter-egos. I dare you to try to forget you are nearly grown-up, or even grown-up, or even Very Ancient. Try writing in a childish way. You'll find it refreshing, unusual, and so addicting you'll want to come back for more. :) 

“It is all very wonderful and mysterious, as all life is apt to be if you go a little below the crust, and are not content just to read newspapers and go by the Tube Railway, and buy your clothes ready-made, and think nothing can be true unless it is uninteresting.” 
~Edith Nesbit

Monday, January 16, 2012

"Heigh-Ho for a Husband" Contest Announcment! :)

I decided it was high time I hosted another contest on The Inkpen Authoress, and for some time I have had a perfectly splendid idea, if I do say so myself. You see, Valentine's Day is looming large on the horizon. Long has the day been heralded as a day of love. Love letters, love-gifts, professions of love, chocolate, flowers, things along that line. But what is a girl to do when she has no lover of her own? When she is quite single? That would be the question. Some people have even jokingly termed Valentine's Day: "SAD." (Singles Awareness Day)
Such is my case, and the case of many others. Granted, some of you are not of marriageable age, but that is muchly beside the point. So here's the deal. This contest will be a contest of Fiction. You may write a dialog, a poem, or a short story (no more than 4,000 words, please). The theme is Un-Valentined Humor. :) Witty, funny, humorous entries about this plight. After all, it isn't exactly a bad thing to be unmarried, and it doesn't mean that you never will be married. We must laugh at ourselves and other people in the same predicament, and celebrate this humorous time of life! :)
"Thus goes everyone in the world by I, and I am sunburnt. I may sit in a corner and cry 'heigh-ho' for a husband!"
       ~William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing 
You may write about two girls discussing their single state, a romantic comedy where no one ends up married, a parody on a famous romantic poem, etc. The idea is to showcase the themes of Valentine's day from an "un-coupled" person's prospective! :) Have fun with it! (And no, you don't have to be single to enter.)
As always, keep the entries clean and appropriate--I will disqualify anything I deem to the contrary of those scruples. However, I expect nothing but brilliancy from the lot of  you. This "Heigh-Ho for a Husband" Blog Party and Contest will open Wednesday, January 23, 2012, and end on February 14th, 2011.
The rules are as follows:
  • Each entrant may submit one entry for each category: Poetry, Dialog, or Story. Email all submissions to theinkpenauthoress@gmail.com
  • The entries will be judged in their category.  I'll choose one winner from each category, and their entries will be featured on this blog. 
  • Then the winners from those three entries will compete for the Grand Prize Winner. I will be announcing the prize at a later date. :)
This event is not only a contest though--I will be showing excerpts from famous books about being unmarried, scribblings of my own, interviews, and perhaps a giveaway! Also, you will get to read the debut of my one-act dialog: "Thus Goes Everyone in the World But I." :) Please spread the word about this contest, and get your pens poised for scribbling! :) Remember, I will begin accepting entries on January 23, 2012! The contest runs for 3 full weeks. :)
P.S. You may begin writing your entries now--just don't send them before Jan. 23, please!