Here lie the mortal remains of....

Au Contraire

{At least temporarily}

Sometimes you will have a beautiful plot for a story--a plot that is actually worthwhile, well thought out, and over-the-average exciting. You have well-rounded characters and a great setting. You have readers excited about the idea of this new book, and are all ready to write it. And when you sit down....the passion is lacking.

Teen auther Rachel Coker recently posted on Go Teen Writers about when to give up on a story. The whole topic scares the pididdle out of me, personally, because I hate thinking of giving up on a story. After all, I love my stories, I pour a lot of time and thought into them, and saying "never mind" seems like a sign of great weakness. It's even harder when you still love the story but it just isn't working out.

Is it okay to lay it aside for a time?

Or forever?

These are questions I've been mulling over since last writing about Au Contraire on this blog. Many of you are excited about Au Contraire and cannot wait to hear more about it. Perhaps it is my fault for writing too soon of a new project that I had hardly begun. But the truth is, after reading a beautiful historical romance (The Sound of Diamonds) written by my good friend, Rachelle Rea, I realized that sweeping, historical dramas/romance is not my territory. I got so excited over The Scarlet-Gypsy Song and Fly Away Home. I never tired of talking about them, writing them, and blogging about them. They were stories that captured me.
When people bring up Au Contraire, my stomach clenches and I put on my "I just met you and I hope you like me anyway" smile and explain what the plot is and why its great and what I love about it, and the whole time I know I'm trying to convince myself as much as them. This is why I say that I think I need to give it a sabbatical.

I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I think Au Contraire is a book with a killer plot, awesome characters, and great potential. But it is not my voice. I have worked hard to find my natural writing voice and have carved somewhat of a niche out of this corner of the world with my own distinctive style. I have written in several genres and there is a coherent thread running through all of them: my voice.

I knew I'd found my voice when I realized that my children's historical fiction, my mid-grade fantasy, and my adult inspirational romance all have a similar flavor. They are for completely different audiences, yet there is a certain something about them that marks them with Rachel's Goods. This is so exciting--it's a huge step in being a writer. Knowing your voice. It's like discovering that you have remarkably blue eyes or a gorgeous nose. (What? Noses are important to me! I don't care for mine.) The whole idea of Au Contraire balances on a careful point of drama, precision, emotion, and wit. I've got the wit, a bit of emotion, and a fair amount of precision, but I am not a drama-writer. This is what was getting to me. I would write a bit of Au Contraire, look at it and think, "This is good. But it's not me." You've no idea how vexing that is--realizing an idea doesn't fit, and having to bury it for a while.
For a while.
I'm not saying that I'll be through with it forever. I'm not even saying that I won't work on it at all. It's just that I don't think it's right to spend all my energy, time, and thought on a project that isn't fitting at this time. It wouldn't be honest to myself, as dramatic as that sounds. To put it quite plainly, it would be ridiculous. Think about it: a project I don't have a passion for, taking up every spare moment of my time, and every square inch of my brain? Is it wise? As sappy as it sounds, if my heart isn't in it, should I be wasting my time?

This is where I have to add a caveat: I feel better about laying this novel aside for the time being because I have ruled out three of what I call the "dangers of quitting."

1. This isn't my first novel. I'm not ten pages into my maiden attempt at authoring and thinking, "I can't do this." I've completed five novels total--three very presentable ones, and have other pieces in various stages of being. I would caution first-time authors about abandoning ship. You have to have a certain level of maturity and stick-to-tive-ness to be able to make this decision.

2. This wasn't inspired by another plot bunny hammering at the door. Although I do have several ideas and one "beginning" I was already considering what to do about Au Contraire. Remember, I've already laid it aside once on trial, then came back. No cigar.

3. I have thought about it and looked at it from all angles. I've thought about it from a professional point of view, (i.e. "What am I doing writing a book that isn't even my style?") I've thought about it from a personal angle, (i.e. "Am I trying to write like someone else?") I've thought about it from a creative angle, (i.e. "Could I write it in my own voice and make it work?") and all the answers point back to this: I need to lay it aside.

So. That being said, I am very sorry for having talked so much about a thing before seeing if it was a good fit for me. That's terribly unprofessional, and if I ever am going to be a published author, I can't be making pie-crust promises. Will you forgive me that?

Let me reiterate:

Au Contraire is not dead for good. At least not yet.

I do have a replacement idea. Several, actually.

And I will keep you updated.

Pax? All right. So now it's your turn to speak. Have you ever had to lay a project aside? What caused you to do it? Was it quitting, or making a thought-out decision? What would you change?